what Season are you in? + friendship
I have a few sweet friends who I haven’t seen for awhile. Friends I miss greatly after moving away from San Antonio and toward Denver. They’re the kind of women of substance who want to know the real, nitty gritty part of one another’s lives.
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Without fail…whether it’s over an open Bible or a frozen margarita, they’ll lean in with focused eyes and ask, “What season are you in?”
What season. I love that.
Is your life full of budding flowers, just waiting to bloom? Or perhaps autumn is where you are, in the midst of a great harvest.
Where do you feel you are?
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Even when I’m in the dead of winter, praying for warmth and life, I know I’m just like the trees outside my window. I know the roots of my life are indeed growing deep as I brave the cold.
Don’t you want those kind of friends? Friends you can be real and truthful with?
So often we just chat with friends.
Chatting as in talking about our kids and about life, but not really talking about anything at the same time.
We don’t delve deeply enough into each other’s lives. We don’t actually know one another’s struggles, our deepest passions, and the hurts we need prayer for.
And I am the president of this club. I want this more than anything, and yet I don’t reach out and grasp it. I still feel new to town, only having been in Denver a handful of years…but that’s ridiculous. I have a friend in our neighborhood who has been here a much shorter time, and has the friendships I crave.
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Why? Well, I tell myself it’s because she has less children and therefore more time…but really, it’s because she reaches out. She starts the conversation. She knows I’ve been having a hard time with something and brings over lunch and fellowship. She takes the time to ask the difficult questions and is always there to support. She almost senses a need in someone and calls them to see how she can help with it.
And then I try and comfort myself with the fact that I’m an introvert and that I already stretch myself every day as I interact with people.
As I sit here in the early morning hours, before the sun even wakes, I’m surrounded by both boxes and an empty house. Life has been abnormally insane lately. And with six kids, I am definitely used to the crazy. But right now Ben and I are almost in survival-mode.
Have you been there?
Things life is throwing at us, things God is asking of us…mixed with moving to a new house, is exhausting.
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If you’ve been a Christian for a while, I can pretty much promise you’ve heard this verse countless times. But today, if you’re feeling weary and that your heart is needing comfort, read it with fresh eyes…
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
(Matthew 11:28-30)
Ok, yes…I’m exhausted. But if I’m honest…we’re ALL a bit weary, aren’t we? My story is likely the same of yours, only with different details.
It’s no excuse. We need relationship and we need deep friendships. It doesn’t matter if you’re a mother with little extra time or a career woman with an overwhelmed schedule. Or both. Ohhhh goodness, my friend…if you’re both, may God give you added blessings of strength and energy.
Friendships are important. Please don’t forget that. I’m not saying small-talk with ladies as we wait at school pickup or at our son’s soccer game. I’m not talking about catching up with the latest gossip or talking about what shows we’re currently obsessed with.
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I’m talking about the REAL. The meat and potatoes.
Asking “how are you” and not expecting to hear simply a “fine,” but rather being honest about the fact that you’re moving and overwhelmed.
Or that your children are starting at a new school on Monday and some of them are sad and scared and you don’t know how to make it better. (oh wait, those are my things)
It doesn't matter how busy we are, our hearts need relationship.
As I’ve been praying through this for the past few weeks, God began to reveal opportunities to me:
My best friend had a medical emergency and I hopped on a plane to care for her newborn.
I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in awhile who mentioned wanting to start a monthly prayer group with a group of 6-8 friends. I jumped at the idea & offered our home.
Thank you, Lord.
So I encourage you as I encourage myself. Reach out. Have girls over for dessert or coffee or a glass of wine. Ask what Season they’re in. See how you can help them. Delve into a deeper friendship with a few ladies you feel pulled to connect with more.
