the right kind of hostess
I have always thought of myself as a good hostess. My mum is fantastic and I've learned so much from her as I grew up. The cooking, the decorating, the little details. I love it. In fact, one of my most favorite things in the world is to have people over and entertain.
Sometimes though...I need to remember how to be the right kind of hostess.
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Luke 10:40
40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
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Do you know this story?
Jesus was visiting Martha's home in Bethany {with as many as 70 people joining him}. Martha therefore, was running around like a chicken with her head cut off as she prepared meals and made sure everyone was comfortable and taken care of.
Her sister Mary however, sat at the feet of Jesus...just soaking it all in.
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I love this painting by Vincento Campi. I can just visualize Martha sweating and being completely overwhelmed, becoming increasingly aggravated as she looks over her shoulder into the other room where Mary sits serenely gazing up at Christ.
Wouldn't you be a wee bit irritated if you were Martha? I sure would. I mean truly, this is how I get. In fact, Ben gave me a little talking to on Thanksgiving morning. We don't have family in town so we had friends over for brunch and other friends over for dinner. It was a busy one...I ended up being in the kitchen all day. It was very fun but wasn't the relaxing day I had expected.
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My sweet husband kindly took me aside at one point and told me I was being like Martha. He told me to forget about all the details that most people wouldn't notice anyway and stop stressing myself {and my family} out. To just enjoy the day. How humbling to have the person who knows you the best & loves you the most, take your hand and tell you that you're taking some of the fun out of the day because the family is walking on pins and needles because you've turned into a drill sergeant.
That's not what I want! That's not what it means to be a good hostess!
Mary had it right.
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Luke 10:41-42
41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
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Just like Jesus' response to Martha, Ben had graciously put me in my place and given me a great reminder of what's important.
It's not that Martha was wrong in her serving & hosting. It's that she forgot the REASON she was doing it and concentrated too fully on the tasks.
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I heard recently about a woman who was so very loved by all she had in her home. Her house was small & worn and yet no one noticed because the way she loved them as she hosted.
When guests came, she would remove her apron and come to the door to greet them. After taking coats and getting them something to drink, she'd invite them to the kitchen as she continued to prepare the meal. She scurried around as she engaged in conversation and once the meal was over, she'd relax with them and chat. Never did she begin to clean the kitchen or put things away until her beloved guests had left. She made THEM feel like the most important things of the evening, not having a clean dining room or kitchen. It was the HEART of hosting that pleased, not the ACT of it.
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Sigh. I do not {generally} do this. Do you? Does your husband greet your friends at the door while you yell a "hi!!!" from the kitchen? Yep. Guilty.
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Romans 12:13
13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
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Practice. Don't you feel like everything takes practice? It's ok if it takes me awhile to get this right. Yet continue to practice.
What can we do differently to make sure we haven't just opened our homes, but we have opened our hearts?
1. do it early
Do as much as you can the night before. I always try to stuff too many tasks in a short amount of time, resulting in me becoming a drill-seargent for my family as I bark orders to them. Not my finest moment{s}.
2. be prepared
Keep a drawer or shelf with easy to grab items for when company stops by without much warning. In it, you could have a clean tablecloth {just toss it over the sticky, crumb covered table}, fun napkins or a couple candlesticks & matches. Try and always have some San Pellegrino or sparkling juice chilling in the fridge. And a cute glass or straw.
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3. greet
Greet your guests. Personally. Don't just yell, "Come on in! I'm in the kitchen!"
4. leave it
Leave the dishes. Leave the mess...until AFTER everyone has gone. Where you spend your time while they're visiting is showing everyone what is actually of the most importance. Which is most important...a clean kitchen & full dishwasher...or the people sitting across the table from you?
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5. accept help
Do #4 unless this happens. If someone asks to help...say YES! If your guests want to assist as you finish preparing the meal or help you clean the kitchen afterward, don't be afraid to take them up on it! Many hands make light work, right? You're not leaving your guests in the next room. Instead, you're engaging with them and having conversation while you complete your tasks & allowing them to serve you as you had just served them.
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1 Peter 4:7-11
The Message (MSG)
7-11 ...Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything. Be quick to give a meal to the hungry, a bed to the homeless—cheerfully.
Be generous with the different things God gave you, passing them around so all get in on it: if words, let it be God’s words; if help, let it be God’s hearty help.
That way, God’s bright presence will be evident in everything through Jesus, and he’ll get all the credit as the One mighty in everything—encores to the end of time.
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