Thanks so much for all the encouragement I've received after mentioning that I'm writing a book! It's scary putting myself out there, but I'm enjoying feeling stretched.

Who knows if this will end up making it past the editing process... but want a little taste of one of the chapters?

Have you ever done something out of fear or perhaps because your soul was aching so much that you weren't entirely thinking about the repercussions?

Sometimes we don't get to sit on the sidelines and learn from afar...but rather, learn the hard way.

And oh how it hurts.

We're experiencing the aftermath of such a situation right now. When you bring a child into your family who has never experienced true, unconditional love, the no strings attached kind of love... they often don't know what to do with it.

It scares them, as it has some of our children.

One moment there is love, joy, and happiness in their faces and in their spirits. Then at the flip of some unknown switch, they're doing everything they can to push you away, rejecting you to your very core.

It's as if they have searched out the worst possible thing they could think of to push you and see how you respond.

Like they're declaring, "You SAY you love me. But I don't trust that. If I push you away and are horrible to you, will you STILL love me? How soon 'till I realize that once again, I'm rejected and made a fool for opening my heart to someone?"

How often do we do that with God? Things are going well, we're happy. Then when we least expect it, fear floods in.

While doing my devotions the other morning, I came across this verse:

Ben and I have been accused by a hurt and angry child. Our child.

But it is the Lord that will prevail. It's as if the Evil One sees our son's heart beginning to heal.

His heart, for perhaps the first time in his life, is beginning to pump not only life giving blood, but soul lifting love.

And Satan doesn't want that. He knows the Lord has big plans for our family and wants us to feel defeated.

We're in a war. Sometimes we forget that a battle wages around us, since few of us have eyes opened to it.

Just as the Lord opened the eyes of Elisha's servant in 2 Kings: 6:17 however, He has also generously allowed my eyes to see both the glory and darkness a handful of times through the years.

The darkness that surrounds us is very real and can feel very scary, until remembering that overwhelming victory is ours because we are children of the Most High God.

We belong to Jesus and His light chases away the darkness. (see Revelation 12:11)

Nothing worth having ever comes easy or without opposition. Storms come, lions roar, and our fears rise up.

God allows opposition and training because He knows exactly what our character needs so we'll be able to stand strong in our next place of promise (1)

Satan may not know the future, but he can certainly see when the Lord is about to do something magnificent.

God opened Elisha's servant's eyes to show him the hills covered with horses and chariots of fire. And I believe when the enemy sees the cavalry mounting on our behalf, he steps up his threats and taunts because he knows that we can't see the forces that stand behind us. He knows that we're probably not aware of how close we are to victory. (2)

So do not despair. There is nothing we can do to diminish the love God has for us.

Let me say it again...

Just like our adoptive children are trying to understand the depth of our love, so many of us {who have been adopted into the family of God}, struggle to comprehend the depth of our Father's love.

Just when we begin to feel safe and begin to open our hearts to His love, we fearfully shove it away again because we don't trust it.