preparing our family for a new {adopted} child

It's interesting how many people ask me if our kids know we're adopting a 13 year old.

I can't imagine ever keeping that a secret from them. It's too huge. They need to be part of it, almost from the very beginning. We share it all with them. The excitement, the nervousness, the concern.

I also am asked all the time HOW we're preparing our children for there suddenly being an older child in our home.

This is what we did before bringing home Imani & Ezekiel...and is what we're doing again now that Aberhem will soon be with us.

First of all, we put pictures of Aberhem all over our house. Sadly, I can't show you any yet until after our Court Date {when he's officially our child under Ethiopian law, but he is in framed photos just like the rest of the family. The kids help me place them in the frames and help me decide where to put them. They're very involved in the process.

As part of our dossier & paperwork for the adoption, families are required to put together many pictures of themselves, activities, and the home itself. Ezekiel, Anton, Laith, and even little Imani have loved deciding what to include, as well as helping me make an album for Aberhem that someone so graciously took with them on a visit to the orphanage. Each photo has been lovingly chosen not only by Ben and I...but by the kids themselves.

We talk about him ALL the time!

Whether it's as we're getting up in the morning, playing legos on the floor, eating dinner, or going to bed, we're in constant conversation...

While out running errands: Do you think Aberhem will like this?

While chatting during lunch: What do you think Aberhem would say if he were talking with us about _______________.

While reading together: Which of these books do you think Aberhem would like?

During homework time: Do you think Aberhem is going to love math, too? It'll take hard work for him to get to where he needs to be. Will you help him get started?

. . . .

We also talk about how hard it will be for awhile before he'll be able to speak english and how we need to remember that he's an older kid and isn't necessarily going to be a playmate. He may not love legos, dirt trucks, princesses, or...gasp!!...soccer! We just don't know!

We pray for him ALL the time!

You may remember our Prayer Sticks that have really encouraged our kids to pray for people other than themselves.

I genuinely think that aside from our morning & nightly prayers, this has helped them open up their hearts to praying for Aberhem multiple times every day.

Not only that, but because we're always talking about him, they're in conversation with us about how he's probably lonely and missing us. That we just had the flu run through our house, I hope he's staying healthy. Because he is a constant throughout our day, they will stop randomly and ask to pray for him {and gosh, they're such sweet prayers}.

Laith {who was supposed to be asleep hours ago} just came to me and said he wanted to, "talk to Aberhem."

I reminded him that we were only able to Skype with him on Saturday mornings {yes! can you believe we get to Skype with him every week?! Thank you Lord for technology!!}.

He replied, "well then can I pray for him?"

{be still my heart, I love you Laith!}

So we cuddled together, him curled up on my lap as I knelt on the floor and he spoke the most beautiful and thoughtful prayer ever. Little 4 year old Laith put into words what Aberhem must be feeling...he prayed that he knew we loved him, that he could come home soon, and many more sweet things that 4 year olds don't generally think about. Know about.

{when Anton was 4, this is what he said about adoption}

. . . . . . . . . . .

It's amazing how God has softened the hearts of not only Ben and I, but our children as well. They're 100% on board with the new addition and the continued growth of our family. We have NO idea where the Lord is taking us, or how He is tugging the hearts of our children as they grow, but I do know that we all realize it's not peaches 'n cream all the time...but it's worth it.