so...I'm writing a book
Ok, this is a confession. For some reason, it makes me SUPER uncomfortable to say it. But...
Maybe I didn't want to tell anyone because I don't feel qualified. Or perhaps it's because it makes me feel really vulnerable, but I've always promised to be real and raw. To be "an open book" to those around me.
And now, with the Lord's guidance...I am.
God has asked me to write this book for a long time now. And I've ignored Him. "Lord, I have six kids...I don't have time for that!" I would tell Him. I mean quite honestly, it's a ridiculous notion. I hardly have time to brush my teeth twice a day, let alone spend hundreds of hours writing on my computer.
I realize we have a unique story but truly, other than my husband and my sweet family, who would read it? Well, probably my best friend. That makes maybe 8 people.
As I continued to ignore and refuse God's leading to put together the book that will hopefully be one day in your hands, the Lord began to give me visions. Well, slight...almost there visions. It's like He'd hand me binoculars and tell me to look through them. Just as things were becoming clear, He'd snatch them away before really seeing what it was. Sigh.
More days, weeks, and months began to pass and I had this relentless and uncompromising feeling like something was missing. In the past, that feeling has resulted in {another} adopted child. But since we've only recently brought home a baby daughter and teenage son from Ethiopia, I doubted that's what it was this time.
So because I'm apparently a little dense {or perhaps just blonde}, I began to ask God what it is I was missing. What was He trying to tell me? "Lord, reveal it to me. Show me what it is You're trying to tell me."
Oh. The book. It's the book, I realized.
I finally knelt before our Father and surrendered myself to Him once again, remembering that which I've prayed many times through the years: I want Him to use me and His plans for my life are indeed so much bigger and better than mine ever are or ever could be.
So I have begun to write. Many naptimes have been spent at my laptop, praying that my little crazies actually sleep so I can get a few pages or simply a couple paragraphs written. Luckily for me, my husband Ben has been telling me to write a book as well {not so strangely, he began urging me about the same time God did}...so he sometimes tosses me the keys to my car and tells me to go to Starbucks for a few hours so I can work without the wonderful chaos that is now our life.
And now I'm excited. I've gone from thinking I'd better do this before God gets my attention by sending a big whale to swallow me up...or something equally as dramatic {see Jonah}. To praying what He wants me to write, what stories to include, and more importantly, how to help you come away from this book feeling encouraged and empowered in your own life.
I don't want this to be simply our family's story...I want rather, for you to understand that even if adoption won't likely be part of your personal story, there is so much to learn and grow in your relationship with Christ through these pages.
I'm about 25,000 words in {a little over 50 pages} and have so much more to go.
Would you pray for me? Pray that I know where to take this?
Do I attempt the traditional route and find a literary agent and try to get in with a publishing house? {ahem...know anyone? message me!}
...or do I publish it myself? I have no idea.
All I know is that the Lord has told me this is an issue of obedience, and because I know His plans are bigger than mine could ever be, obedient I will remain.
