God must be laughing

Did you ever know I never wanted kids? Well ok, I thought I never wanted them.

It wasn't the path I thought my life would lead. I wanted to work internationally, perhaps get my masters & phd in art history {as I had studied in undergrad} and become a curator or work at a gallery.

But no. God had other plans for me.

He built me a family.

As we let out of church a few days ago {on Easter Sunday}, Ben saw an email from the Director of our adoption agency. Knowing she's in Ethiopia right now, we figured it was new photos of Aberhem.

Instead however, the beautiful eyes of a tiny baby girl peered back at us.

Ummmm....whaaaaaat?!

Who is THIS?!

This is our new daughter.

As we sat there in our car, the current 4 excitedly talking about brunch and egg hunts, Ben and I had tears streaming down our faces as we scrolled through each photo. She's breathtaking, her eyes and lips absolute perfection. She is so young, she has barely uncurled from being in the womb.

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I had prayed & prayed for the Lord to show us if we were to have another baby biologically or through adoption {remember this post?}.

We'd placed ourselves on the Waiting List for a baby girl so long ago that to be quite honest, I didn't even think about it anymore. We have gone back and forth on the idea of me getting pregnant again, but my pregnancies were SO awful. Amongst other places, Ben would find me passed out {from throwing up so much} in the hallway, just to get up for a glass of water. The idea of becoming pregnant was appealing. The reality of it though...with four children...I don't know how I would do it. Nevertheless, it still weighed heavily on my heart.

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God made the decision for me.

Want to know something funny though?

Just last week I decided maybe we were good. We have kids ages 2, 4, 5 & 7...with a 13 year old on the way. We're almost done with diapers, we all sleep through the night. We have a routine. It's busy, but it's pretty easy actually. We're in a good place. I {even if it were for a moment}, thought perhaps we were fine without the baby my heart has been yearning for.

Maybe that's when God decided I was ready.

...once again, He must have laughed.

Ben and I now spontaneously burst into quick {hysterical?} laughter. Tears often prick my eyes at random times.

We will have SIX CHILDREN. SIX.

The girl who "didn't want kids" is now often referred to as Mother Teresa {oh if I could only be half as amazing as she}. God, you have such an incredible sense of humor. Such trust of Ben and I. Truly, I'm not sure why. I feel like I fail too many times throughout the day. Miss opportunities to help the kids learn. Am too short or selfish with my time.

But I love them...oh Lord, how I love them. My family have tight hold of my heart and none of us have any desire of that letting go.

I'm learning to have an open & willing heart and who knows what our future holds. Our lives are a million times more joyful, more fulfilling, more fun, {more everything!} than anything I could ever have planned by myself.

We're not lucky...we're blessed. And blessed far more than we deserve.

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|| I can't wait to show you photos of our newest 2...we'll be able to in a few months after we travel to Ethiopia for our court appointment ||

{note from Ezekiel to Ben & I}

Are you being called to be part of our story?

Because both Aberhem and Milki have come into our family without planning by us, we are having to fundraise this time.

Do you feel led to help?

. . . . . . . . .

We GREATLY appreciate any amount you feel led to give. Truly, in ANY amount. If it's giving up your morning Starbucks, that's amazing. If it's the amount of a few lunches out, we're so grateful. If you feel like the Lord is calling you to really stretch yourself {as He is us!!}, please remember you are changing the lives of two children forever.

Anything. Truly, anything. Is such a generous & humbling gift.

From the bottom of our hearts...thank you.